diff --git a/meson/clang-tidy/clang-tidy-runner.py b/meson/clang-tidy/clang-tidy-runner.py
new file mode 100755
index 000000000..c36e66b41
--- /dev/null
+++ b/meson/clang-tidy/clang-tidy-runner.py
@@ -0,0 +1,89 @@
+#!/usr/bin/env python3
+"""
+Runs run-clang-tidy. A bit meta. Maybe it will replace run-clang-tidy one day
+because the run-clang-tidy UX is so questionable.
+"""
+
+# I hereby dedicate this script to fuck you meson.
+# I cannot simply write my code to invoke a subprocess in a meson file because
+# Meson corrupts backslashes in command line args to subprocesses.
+# This is allegedly for "Windows support", but last time I checked Windows
+# neither needs nor wants you to corrupt its command lines.
+# https://github.com/mesonbuild/meson/issues/1564
+
+import multiprocessing
+import subprocess
+import os
+import sys
+from pathlib import Path
+
+
+def default_concurrency():
+    return min(multiprocessing.cpu_count(),
+               int(os.environ.get("NIX_BUILD_CORES", "16")))
+
+
+def go(exe: str, plugin_path: Path, compile_commands_json_dir: Path, jobs: int,
+       paths: list[Path], werror: bool, fix: bool):
+    args = [
+        # XXX: This explicitly invokes it with python because of a nixpkgs bug
+        # where clang-unwrapped does not patch interpreters in run-clang-tidy.
+        # However, making clang-unwrapped depend on python is also silly, so idk.
+        sys.executable,
+        exe,
+        '-quiet',
+        '-load',
+        plugin_path,
+        '-p',
+        compile_commands_json_dir,
+        '-j',
+        str(jobs),
+        '-header-filter',
+        r'src/[^/]+/.*\.hh'
+    ]
+    if werror:
+        args += ['-warnings-as-errors', '*']
+    if fix:
+        args += ['-fix']
+    args += ['--']
+    args += paths
+    os.execvp(sys.executable, args)
+
+
+def main():
+    import argparse
+
+    ap = argparse.ArgumentParser(description='Runs run-clang-tidy for you')
+    ap.add_argument('--jobs',
+                    '-j',
+                    type=int,
+                    default=default_concurrency(),
+                    help='Parallel linting jobs to run')
+    ap.add_argument('--plugin-path',
+                    type=Path,
+                    help='Path to the Lix clang-tidy plugin')
+    # FIXME: maybe we should integrate this so it just fixes the compdb for you and throws it in a tempdir?
+    ap.add_argument(
+        '--compdb-path',
+        type=Path,
+        help=
+        'Path to the directory containing the fixed-up compilation database from clean_compdb'
+    )
+    ap.add_argument('--werror',
+                    action='store_true',
+                    help='Warnings get turned into errors')
+    ap.add_argument('--fix',
+                    action='store_true',
+                    help='Apply fixes for warnings')
+    ap.add_argument('--run-clang-tidy-path',
+                    default='run-clang-tidy',
+                    help='Path to run-clang-tidy')
+    ap.add_argument('paths', nargs='*', help='Source paths to check')
+    args = ap.parse_args()
+
+    go(args.run_clang_tidy_path, args.plugin_path, args.compdb_path, args.jobs,
+       args.paths, args.werror, args.fix)
+
+
+if __name__ == '__main__':
+    main()
diff --git a/meson/clang-tidy/clean_compdb.py b/meson/clang-tidy/clean_compdb.py
index a3fc77204..461488f27 100755
--- a/meson/clang-tidy/clean_compdb.py
+++ b/meson/clang-tidy/clean_compdb.py
@@ -13,8 +13,8 @@ def process_compdb(compdb: list[dict]) -> list[dict]:
         out = []
         eat_next = False
         for i, arg in enumerate(args):
-            if arg == '-fpch-preprocess':
-                # as used with gcc
+            if arg in ['-fpch-preprocess', '-fpch-instantiate-templates']:
+                # -fpch-preprocess as used with gcc, -fpch-instantiate-templates as used by clang
                 continue
             elif arg == '-include-pch' or (arg == '-include' and args[i + 1] == 'precompiled-headers.hh'):
                 # -include-pch some-pch (clang), or -include some-pch (gcc)
diff --git a/meson/clang-tidy/meson.build b/meson/clang-tidy/meson.build
index 1cd85a708..1da0661f9 100644
--- a/meson/clang-tidy/meson.build
+++ b/meson/clang-tidy/meson.build
@@ -57,34 +57,18 @@ build_all_generated_headers = custom_target(
 )
 
 if lix_clang_tidy_so_found
-  default_concurrency = run_command(python, '-c', '''
-import multiprocessing
-import os
-print(min(multiprocessing.cpu_count(), int(os.environ.get("NIX_BUILD_CORES", "16"))))
-  ''', check : true).stdout()
-
   run_clang_tidy_args = [
-    '-load',
-    lix_clang_tidy_so,
-    '-p',
-    # We have to workaround a run-clang-tidy bug too, so we must give the
-    # directory name rather than the actual compdb file.
-    # https://github.com/llvm/llvm-project/issues/101440
-    meson.current_build_dir(),
-    '-quiet',
-    '-j', default_concurrency,
+    meson.current_source_dir() / 'clang-tidy-runner.py',
+    '--run-clang-tidy-path', run_clang_tidy,
+    '--compdb-path', meson.current_build_dir(),
+    '--plugin-path', lix_clang_tidy_so,
   ]
   run_target(
     'clang-tidy',
     command : [
-      # XXX: This explicitly invokes it with python because of a nixpkgs bug
-      # where clang-unwrapped does not patch interpreters in run-clang-tidy.
-      # However, making clang-unwrapped depend on python is also silly, so idk.
       python,
-      run_clang_tidy,
       run_clang_tidy_args,
-      '-warnings-as-errors',
-      '*',
+      '--werror',
     ],
     depends : [
       build_all_generated_headers,
@@ -94,9 +78,8 @@ print(min(multiprocessing.cpu_count(), int(os.environ.get("NIX_BUILD_CORES", "16
     'clang-tidy-fix',
     command : [
       python,
-      run_clang_tidy,
       run_clang_tidy_args,
-      '-fix',
+      '--fix',
     ],
     depends : [
       build_all_generated_headers,